Parents, I’m Frustrated

Anxious. Scared. Worried. Frustrated. Uncertain. Confused. These emotions are some of what I feel on a daily basis as a result of the coronavirus pandemic. I’m anxious about the state of our nation. I’m scared that my business won’t bounce back. I’m worried about my children adapting to virtual school. I’m frustrated that there aren’t any good choices or answers. I’m uncertain and confused about my parenting abilities and my efficiency as I work from home.

Emotions are Natural

I know it is natural to be stressed when faced with uncertainty, and the climate of 2020 makes it harder to handle. When working and parenting at home full time (and soon to be a learning coach) it can be difficult to hold boundaries with working hours which adds to my stress.  I feel like I am always “on.” And with my family home all of the time, it’s hard to maintain rituals and routines that my mind and body craves. I’ve known since college that my body holds on to stress if I don’t exercise, walk the dog or stretch daily. Stress can even make my body scream “stop!” through headaches or neck and jaw pain if I don’t listen the first few times. By that point, the stress has been active for far too long and for the 578,982,112th time, I commence being mindful and aware.

These emotions and stress responses have not only become a part of my daily feelings roller coaster, but a part of my children's life, too. Due to the pandemic, they are feeling anxious about school, feeling sad about missing their friends, and feeling confused about their world that no longer makes sense. As virtual learning begins in a few weeks, I believe their stress will go up if my family doesn’t have the proper practices in place. 

So with everyone feeling more uncertain at home, I have taken what I know to be true in therapy, and have started taking our family through an easy emotional regulation exercise. I use the following steps: name it, take ownership, and do something about it. 

Name, Notice, Do

To begin, name your feeling and notice if you feel it anywhere in your body. Be aware of the feeling and sensations in your body. Notice if you have any thoughts running or ruining the feeling. Take time to be responsible for your own thoughts, feelings and actions. Then, take time to do something about it. Taking action might be taking time to walk, turning the computer off early that day or cuddling with your kids.  Whatever it may be, own the action and step into a better way of living and expressing yourself.  These steps can easily be implemented into your home life through leading by example, discussion at the dinner table, or walking your child through the steps when feeling something strongly.

When I can remember to be aware of my emotions and to take action towards improving my mood, I am a better me.  And being a better me allows me to be a better example for my children giving them a better chance at being successful during 2020.

For more steps like this, check out our fall classes, both virtual and in-person, and start the school year being content and aware of what you can do to lessen anxiety and have control over your actions.